RHOA: WHO GON’ CHECK ME BOO.

Posted by krizgee on October 5, 2010 · 6 Comments 

This season of Real Housewives of Atlanta starts out with the main focus being Sheree. Oh Joy. Raise your hand if you like this lady…that’s what I thought. Me neither. She is cocky, wears too much weave, claims she’s a designer when she can’t even sketch or sew and to top it all off, do you know ANY regular women who throw a divorce party? You have children with that man lady!

I digress, Sheree is telling some old white man that she loves him, not convincingly. Of course, she is acting. This acting is REALLY bad. I’m actually about to cry tears of pain. All of these coaches and other “acting students” are really big upping her. I almost feel bad for them. Some part of them idolize her, otherwise, I can’t imagine why they would lie to her face. Her jeans are kinda amazing though, hook me up girl! Ha.

I had the pleasure of sitting next to Sheree at an Oprah show in NYC last year and needless to say, she was a bitch. Mind you, I wasn’t going to speak two words to the woman, she don’t make my world go ’round! Ya heard? But I sure was nosey enough to listen to her talk about how she was tired of being hounded by all of her “fans” and stressing over going out anywhere because she is always “accosted”. Bitch please. I saw about two people come up to her. New York doesn’t care about your raggedy ass. Please keep it moving!

Three minutes into the show we find Nene (yellow is NOT your color mamacita) rushing up to Sheree’s home to tell her some juicy gossip. Ooh, I can’t wait! What is this news Nene has to share? Oh, just Kim jumping on the bi-sexual bandwagon (10 years too late I might add – don’t people usually do that in college?). Sheree and Nene both seem to think Kim is just whoring herself out to the media, and well, they know her better than I do, therefore, I agree!

We find out Nene invited Kim over to her house for a chat. I’m so glad. I can’t wait to see them build their relationship up only to rip it apart. More on that later.

Next scene is of course, Nene! Um great segue? Not really. Nene is preparing for Kim’s visit. Wait. Hold up. Is that a private chef? Huh?! Isn’t Nene having financial problems? Okay, let me break this down for those of you not in the “reality tv” business.

Sometimes, these reality whores stars can coerce a chef (ala Jeana from Thintervention) to work for them for a lower price or sometimes even for free. IF they get to be on camera. I mean, think about it, they are getting free publicity and can show off their talents. This whole concept is very interesting. It works for many different services that would otherwise cost a lot of money, including personal trainers, clothing designers and so on.

Back to the show, I’m SO excited to see Kim! And pulling up in a beautiful white convertible at that? I’m in heaven. This lady should be my mom. She’s totally old enough.

Sidebar: WTF is Kim wearing in her interview segments?! I literally had to rewind it. That is the most god awful tube top/dress flowery debacle I have ever seen. If you want to show your breasts, fine, but PLEASE for the love of God, get a new pattern! The dress she wears to Nene’s “new” house is really beautiful though. Seriously, I would rock that.

Honestly, all jokes aside, Kim looks really great. It looks like she has a new human hair wig and it really looks great on her. She still needs a nose job but overall, she looks great. I hope she can keep this up throughout the season.

I think the most honest thing I’ve ever heard Kim say happened this episode. “I’ve been chasing dick since I came out of the womb”. Now if she just would have added “married” in front of “dick”, we’d have a winner! Nothing bothers me more than when a woman says “Only a woman knows what a woman wants”. What.the.fuck.ever. It’s your choice whether you are gay or straight, but don’t tell me my man can’t please me as well as a woman.  K? Thanks.

Okay, now let’s discuss the bombshell that Kim drops on Nene. Dwight apparently told Kim that he loaned Greg money. (still with me? He said/she said is SO hard to follow!) Here’s the scoop on this. Fine, let’s say he did. Even if he DID loan him the money, if you’re a REAL friend, do you go around telling everyone that you loaned it? It’s not something I would do, would you? Seriously.

Secondly, Nene will NEVER let this get out on camera. So I’m betting that she is going to deny deny deny, probably for the rest of the season.

Next up, Kandi comes to visit Kim. One thing Kim has going for herself is she knows how to hustle. Her house is always laid, her food is always plentiful and she has her shit together. On the other hand, Kandi needs to get her hair together. That hairstyle went out with the 90’s.

Kandi’s interviews are extremely forced. These ladies really do have to sell THEMSELVES. If they want to make money off of the show by promoting whatever it is they are hawking, they have to sell themselves in a way that relates to their “product”. Kandi’s product is her crappy music. She says what she thinks we want to hear. Mentioning AJ (playing on our emotions) and why she is trying to move forward and focus on her music, all the while brushing her dating life to the side. People don’t usually take too kindly to someone dating a new beau so soon after a fiancee’s death.

Kandi doesn’t think Kim should be friends with Nene. No surprise there.

The conversation between Kim and Kandi about Kim’s love life and sexual orientation isn’t scripted. BUT, it IS set up. I am about 100% positive that the producers gave them the bullet points and told Kandi what to ask. It’s part of reality tv. Has to be done in order to get the back story on all the months we’ve missed of these ladies lives.

Willis Mcgahee. He’s fine. Way more fine than AJ, may he rest in peace. The rock climbing scene = planned. I highly doubt without the cameras there that either Willis OR Kandi would have gone rock climbing. These ladies are paid to spend a certain number of hours a week filming their lives. It doesn’t make it less real, it does however make it a bit confusing. Kandi is no rock climber nor is she someone who would actually choose this as a date. I’m positive a producer suggested it to her.

Sidebar: Do both Kandi and Willis brush their teeth with baking soda? Amazingly white teeth. I want them.

We’re back to Kim in her immaculate condo. Brielle has really grown into a beautiful teenager. She is nasty though, why is she setting her shoes on the counter?! AND WHY IS SHE CHEWING WITH HER MOUTH OPEN AND THOSE BRACES?! I’M GOING TO THROW UP!!!!!!!!!

I also can’t believe that Kim thinks she turned out well. I guess if Brielle starts sleeping with a married man, Kim will be her #1 supporter. Good to know.

FINALLY! A new housewife! Phaedra. She is coming in really trying to make it clear who she wants us to THINK she is. We know nothing about her so she wants to make sure we view her as a beautiful southern belle (no luck getting me to believe this) with class and beauty and of course, A FINE ASS HUSBAND. My Goodness that man is fine! I do love that she made him sign a prenup, but I want to see it. I want to know for a fact that she had him sign it. I don’t believe it until I see it. For now, it’s just a made up fantasy that she wants me to believe and I don’t buy it.

I got to give it up for her honesty. She wants to have a child but she doesn’t want to feel trapped. I dig that. Honesty is the key to my heart. I do find it interesting though that she represented Bobby Brown. I wonder how he paid her, in crack?

Soon after the introduction of Phaedra, she goes to visit Dwight. It is then that we realize Dwight has a new bff. He is obviously trying to distance himself from Nene and for good reason. I used to love me some Dwight, around the same time that I loved me some Nene. However, it seems this season all Dwight is talking about is how much money he has and how much he has given to the other housewives. Well doll, here’s a clue, you’re doing it because you want to be a fame whore. If these ladies weren’t on tv, he wouldn’t have given them a dime.

Can I just talk about the cake Dwight and Phaedra were eating? I can’t WAIT to be pregnant so I can eat whatever I want. That cake looked DELICIOUS. I can’t remember the last time I ate a piece of cake that big. I did however smell one, that’s about as far as it goes for me these days. This body isn’t getting any younger!

We are back at Nene’s home now and she is having a conversation with Greg about the allegations that he borrowed 10,000 dollars from Dwight. Now, for those of you who aren’t slow, you should have caught this. Does it really make sense that days/weeks after finding out about the allegations that Nene would JUST NOW be bringing this up to Greg? No. Of course not!

Of course they had the conversation and came up with a game plan. A game plan of how they would spin this to make themselves look innocent. Greg probably didn’t want to go along with it (in my opinion) but Nene ain’t havin’ that! It doesn’t matter to her that Greg is going to come off looking bad, SHE is the money-maker, SHE has an “image” to uphold.

The whole scene with Sheree and Lawrence discussing shoe shopping was forced and annoying. He made sure to show his Birkin (which was cute!) and of course they gossiped. I did like the term “stunt queen”. Can I use that from now on? I’m totally using it today at work. I’ll let ya know how it goes. Who gon’ check me boo?!

Scene: Kim and Nene in the car on the way to the shoe preview. This scene is Nene once again hawking herself. She has to give an excuse as to why their marriage is falling apart. Of course, this is all going to be her blaming Greg. I hope she doesn’t think we as viewers are truly this stupid. But OOH! Am I excited to see her give this check to Dwight or what?! Here we go!

The owner of B Chic Boutique, Rashida, is GORGEOUS! Can we get her on the show?

Here comes Dwight with what he believes will be the next hot thing “Phaedra”. Guaranteed that if the viewers don’t like Phaedra, Dwight will drop her as well.

Wow. Nene went IN on Phaedra’s lack of “fabulosity” in her interview. Interesting. One thing that I always try to remind myself of is that these women knew each other BEFORE they were on TV. Phaedra could be (and probably is) putting on an entire show for the viewing audience. Of course, Nene does this too so I’m gon’ need them all to just settle down a bit and realize that the only one of them that dresses halfway decent…well…none of them. Nope. They all have hit and misses and about 75% of their outfits would be deemed HIDEOUS in NYC. That’s just the truth.

Nene. Nene. Dwight. Dwight. Who started this?! I had to rewind to check it out again. Dwight couldn’t have REALLY expected Nene to hug him after all his running off at the mouth about money, could he?! One thing Nene has going for her in my eyes, she doesn’t fake the funk. She wasn’t gonna hug him, let him know it and said “Toodle boo”. Apparently Dwight doesn’t take kindly to the word “boo”. Hey, personally I’m all about being called “boo”. Since when did that word become “last year’s” word? I’ve been saying it since 1995 and I truly don’t plan on stopping anytime soon, boo.

This argument definitely doesn’t need to be happening in front of all these people. All of these ladies/gentleman could use an etiquette class or two. I’ll teach it, but not for free. The thing about reality tv is, these ladies KNOW, the more drama they are involved in, the more airtime they are going to get. They believe in the mantra “all press is good press”. Mmmhmmm.

Oooh, did Dwight just rip that check up in front of Nene’s face? “Give me cash, I gave him cash” Oooh! Was that a stunt queen move or what! Ha!

One thing I gotta say, I don’t like Sheree. But damn was she on point in her interview. “You got so much to say behind closed doors, speak up, cat got your tongue”?

As for Phaedra, shut up. “As a lady it was just shameful”. Heff, you do 2 seasons of Real Housewives of Atlanta and let’s see how ladylike you really are. This whole facade she is putting on will quickly fade and I can’t wait.

I was impressed with how Sheree and Kim had Nene’s back as well. It really showed that there may be a deeper connection there than I once thought. Maybe this season all of the ladies won’t be out for themselves and instead are going to try to bond together against the new ladies?

Only time will tell.

Until next time…

If you have any questions or want to know any inside scoop on reality TV when it comes to the Real Housewives, THIS is the place to ask em! Love all of you beautiful people reading. Keep judging! I will. =)

Filed under Bravo, Featured · Tagged with 000 dollars, 10, Andy Cohen, Bravo, cynthia bailey, Drama, Dwight, kandi burress, kim zolciak, Nene Leakes, phaedra parks, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOATL, sheree whitfield